翻译:
龙井茶 DawnK
校对:
青玉映案 米粥Rita
后期: 经年-不遇
不想挂科的狂魔
压制: 不想挂科的狂魔
去死吧
英剧贴吧 倾情奉献
本字幕仅供学习与交流 严禁用于任何商业用途
第一集
始于非命
My dog's shat herself right in my bed!
我的狗刚刚在我的床上拉屎!
There's something wrong with her!
她肯定是生病了！
-Are you open?-We're open 24 hours a day.
-你们是营业中吗? -我们24小时都营业
We were just cuddled up watching telly, when all of a sudden - bam!
我们刚刚在床上蜷缩着看电视 突然 嘭的一声
She's covered in shite. I'm covered in shite.
我的身上和她的身上都有屎
All the cushions are covered in shite.
所有的垫子都有她的屎
It even hit the TV!
它甚至去撞电视机！
-Please, help me!-Sorry, I'm just the receptionist.
-拜托你帮帮我吧! -对不起 我只是一个前台接待员
But if you fill out this form,
但如果你填了这份表格
-The vet will be with you any minute. -Please!
-兽医马上就会来了 -拜托了!
OK. Let me take a look.
好吧 让我看看
I've got it, Scott.
我来处理 斯科特
Not your job to touch the animals.
接触动物不是你的工作
Clear that up.
清理一下
Ah! There he is!
啊哈 你回来了
Long night at the animal clinic, eh?
在动物诊所真是漫长的一夜啊 是吧？
Yeah, very. I'm going to hit the sack.
是啊 真是漫漫长夜 我要准备睡觉了
Listen, come in here a minute. I've got something to show you.
听我说 快点过来这儿 我有一些东西要给你看
Oh, no, I can barely keep my eyes open.
噢 不 我几乎睁不开眼睛了
Come on, you're going to love it.
来吧 你会爱上它的
I just want to sleep!
我只是想睡觉！
Look at these.
看看这些
George Best's football boots.
乔治·贝斯特的足球靴
乔治·贝斯特: 已故北爱尔兰职业足球运动员
He wore them when he played for Manchester United
这是他那时为曼联效力的时候穿的
In the European Cup Final in 1968.
在1968年欧冠决赛时穿的
You can still smell the grass on 'em. Here, have a smell.
你仍然可以闻到鞋子上草的味道 这里 闻一下
-No, really... -Smell!
-不 真的... -闻一下!
There's George!
是乔治的味道
Worth a bloody mint, these.
这些真的非常完美
And I want you to have them.
现在我想把它们送给你
Me? No, I can't take these.
我? 不 我不可以接受这些
It's not a gift, son.
孩子 这不是礼物
They'd be a payment.
这是报酬
Payment? For what?
报酬? ？什么的报酬？
I want you to kill me.
我希望你能杀了我
Cup of tea?
来杯茶吗？
Right, kids, are you ready to have some fun?
好了 亲们 准备好了吗？
And, bounce those legs! Come on, let's roll up now.
抬起你们的脚! 来吧 让我们动起来
And left arm, 1-2. And right arm, 3-4.
左手 1 2 接着 右手 3 4
And left leg, 5-6. And right leg, 7-8.
左脚 5 6 右脚 7 8
And again, double time. Let's have it!
再来一遍 让我们再做一遍
And, all together now. Come on!
来吧 现在一起来 加油
And all together, yes! Let's just do some freestyle.
一起来 这就对了! 让我们随心所欲地做
Freestyle. Who knows what freestyle means?
随心所欲的 谁知道随心所欲要做什么啊？
Tea and biscuits in a minute.
茶和饼干马上就来了
Freestyle, come on. Both, and right. And both.
来吧 自由地做 左 右 一起来
So what do you think, Joey? Are they getting into it?
乔伊 你觉得怎么样? 他们已经融入了吗？
Oh, yeah, yeah, deffo. They're moving way better.
啊 嗯 当然了 他们正往好的方面发展
I mean a couple of 'em even touched their toes today.
我的意思是他们中的很多人今天都能碰到他们的脚趾
Course, they fell smack over on their faces, but, you know...
当然了 他们也可以拍打到他们的脸 但是 你知道的...
We don't make those kind of jokes here.
我们不开这种玩笑
We respect the dignity of our third-agers.
我们尊重老年人的尊严
Well, you should've told that to Mr Connolly
你本应该告诉康诺利先生
When he started dry humping Mrs Wallace during squats.
当他开始和华莱士夫人进行女上男下深蹲的时候
Not much dignity there. See you Friday.
就已经没有什么尊严了 星期五见
See YOU Thursday.
星期四见
Oh, fuck!
噢 妈的！
That's not a very cheery welcome.
不欢迎我们呐？
-You said I had a month.-Two weeks ago.
-你之前说我有一个月的时间 -两个星期前
Well, yes, so I've still got 12...a fortnight!
是啊 所以我还有12... 两个星期！
-He's scaring me.-Relax, my friend.
-他在吓唬我 -放松点 兄弟
-We are not here to kill you.-Oh, good.
-我们不是来杀你的 -噢 好极了
-I'm just going to break your finger.-My fin... wait! No!
-我只是来折断你的手指 -我的手... 等一下! 不！
Last time we lent you money, it took too long to pay back.
上次我们借你钱 过了很长一段时间你才还
We just can't take that risk again.
我们不能再冒这个险了
-Now, come, give me your hand.-OK, OK, hang on!
-来吧 现在把你的手给我 -好吧 好吧 等一下！
Why don't we just pretend it's broken.
我们为什么不假装它已经断了呢
I'll put a cast on it. I'll never use it.
我给手指上石膏 我永远都不用它
I'm a great actor. I did Peter Pan at junior school.
我是一个好演员 我在中学的时候扮演过彼得潘
And then what am I supposed to do?
那我应该做什么呢？
Lie to the people who pay me?
对付钱给我的人撒谎？
You don't expect a man like me to lie?
你不会认为像我这样的人会撒谎吧？
I don't expect it, but I would quite like it.
我不认为 但我希望可以这样
Eh?
嗯？
Yeah, I like that one!
啊 我喜欢这个主意
OK, OK, I will make you a deal.
好吧 好吧 我跟你做个交易
Oh, thank God! Or Allah.
噢 谢谢上帝和真主的保佑！
I mean, is it Allah with you two?
我的意思是 你们俩就是真主吧?
-Cos I love the guy!-You may choose the finger.
-因为我喜欢真主! -你可以选择一只手指
-What?! No! -I will give you ten seconds, or I choose.
-什么?! 不! -我给你十秒钟时间考虑 否则我来选
No, no, no, look, honest, I was Captain Hook!
不 不 不 听我说 其实 我以前是胡克船长！
-He was missing a whole hand!-Ten, nine, eight...
-他没了一整只手! -十 九 八...
No, no. I'm begging you!
不 不要 我求你了！
Seven, six, five...
七 六 五...
I don't know which one! I like them all!
我不知道要选哪只! 我哪只都喜欢！
I would go with the pinky. Four, three...
我会选择小指 四 三...
Here! Here! Shit!
在这儿！在这！ 妈的！
Good. Good. Now, relax. I'm going to break it on three, OK?
好 很好 放轻松 我数到三的时候就折断它 可以吗？
One...
一...
-You said on three!-The element of surprise dulls the pain.
-你说数到三的! -出其不意能减轻疼痛
-You reckon?! -Good. Two weeks.
-你真的这么认为?! -很好 两个星期
Now we know you won't forget.
现在我们知道你不会忘了
So long, Mr Captain Hook!
再见 胡克船长先生！
Lou Gehrig's disease?
葛雷克氏症？
That's what they call it in the States, yeah.
是的 这是美国人对它的称呼
Over here, they call it ALS -
在这里 他们称它为肌萎缩性侧索硬化症
A Life of Shite.
糟糕的生活
Would you like a biscuit with that?
想来块饼干吗？
Look, Mr Brennan, I feel terrible
布伦南先生 我感到很难受
About you having this Lou Gehrig's disease...
知道你患有葛雷克氏症这个消息
-It's Paddy. -Paddy Gehrig's disease.
-是帕迪 -帕迪伽雷氏症
It's Lou Gehrig's disease. You call me Paddy.
是葛雷克氏症 你应该叫我帕迪
-But I can't do this. -Why not?
-但我不能这样做 -为什么
All you've got to do is get some...
你所做的是得到一些...
What is it they knock the dogs off with?
他们用在狗身上的是什么？
-Pemrutox. -Stick it in my vein, press the plunger and Bob's your uncle!
-安乐药 -把针筒插在我的静脉上 压一下活塞 就这么简单！
You've got the boots, you're a rich man. Why couldn't you do that?
你已经拥有了那双靴子 你现在是个有钱人了 怎么会做不到呢？
I think it's mostly because I was taught NOT to kill people.
我认为最大的原因是 老师教我们不能杀人
I think that's it.
这就是原因
Look at me, Scotty.
看着我 斯科蒂
Every day, it gets harder to chew.
我每天都难以咀嚼
I keep dropping things.
每次都有东西从我的口中掉下
Pretty soon, they're going to put a hole in me throat
很快 他们要在我的喉咙那里开一个孔
So that I can breathe.
那样我就能呼吸
Now, I don't want my lovely daughter
现在 我不想我可爱的女儿
Having to look after a decrepit old man
去照顾一个龙钟老人
Who can't wipe the shite out of his own arse.
一个上完厕所不能自己擦屁股的人
I'll get you some beans on toast.
我去拿一些豆子可以放在面包上
People can beat the odds, you know?
你知道吗 人们可以战胜病魔
Live long, productive lives.
使自己长寿 有生命力
Look at Stephen Hawking. He's doing brill.
看看史蒂芬·霍金 他就活得很精彩
He writes books, lectures, opened the Paralympics.
他写书 开讲座 办残奥会
He speaks into a box and pisses into a bag.
他坐在轮椅中演讲 在一个包里撒尿
Well, sure. You can spin it either way.
当然了 你可以像他那样生活
Look, I lived my life the way I wanted to live it.
听着 我要生活在我自己想要的生活里
I want to go the way I want to go.
我想走自己想走的路
I'll get you a packet of crisps.
我去给你拿一包薯片
How did that American bloke,
那个美国的家伙
Dr Kevorkian, kill people?
科沃金医生是怎样杀人的？
Shhh!
嘘！
Didn't he use some sort of machine to let his victims kill themselves?
他不会是用一种机器让受害者自杀吧？
I don't know.
我不知道
Though, if they killed themselves, were they really his victims at all?
可是 如果他们自杀了 他们还是他的受害者吗？
Bloody hell, Scott! I'm trying to get off here
该死的 斯科特!！ 我要下去了
And you're banging on about nut job killers!
因为你一直喋喋不休地说疯子杀手
Ah, but was he a nut job?
啊 但他是一个疯子吗？
Or was he just, you know, doing the right thing?
或者他只是 你知道的 在做一些对的事情？
Who gives a toss? I don't even know what you're going on about!
谁在意啊? 我甚至不知道你一直说的是什么
Do you want to nip out for a curry?
你想去吃咖喱吗？
I'm seeing someone else.
我另有约会
Or we could get one in. Where's that menu?
或者我们可以叫外卖 外卖单在哪里啊？
-Wait, what? -I'm seeing someone else.
-什么? 等等 -我现在要去和另一个人约会
Chuck us my knickers.
把我的内裤拿给我
What do you mean, you're seeing someone else? Since when?
你要去和另一个人约会是什么意思?？从什么时候开始的？
A couple of weeks. There just hasn't been a good time to tell you.
几个星期前吧 只是没有一个适合的时间告诉你而已
How about before we had sex? That would've been a VERY good time!
那我们之前做爱的时候呢？那就是一个非常合适的时间啊！
Scott, please, don't.
拜托 斯科特 不要这样子
-This is really hard for me.-Oh, I'm sorry!
-这对我来说很难熬 -噢 非常抱歉
Would you like me to help you relax by shagging you again?!
你想要和我亲热来帮助你获得愉快吗？
-No, I don't think that would work.-Where did you meet him?
-不 我觉得不可行 -你是在哪里见到他的？
He's always in the restaurant at lunch.
他总是在餐厅里吃午餐
You're dumping me for somebody who eats at Nando's？
你为了一个在南多吃东西的人而甩了我？
南多: 一家来自南非 但具有葡萄牙风情的英国连锁餐厅
It's all top quality there, you know!
你知道的 那儿的东西都是高大上的
I appreciate, as a proud employee,
我很欣赏你作为一个员工拥有的自豪感
You're obligated to say that, but it's really not.
你有义务这样说 但其实真的不是
That's because you order everything without sauce.
那是因为你点的东西都没有调味汁
It's the sauce that makes it!
是调味料让它们变得高大上的
I don't believe this! Who is he?
我不相信！他是谁？
He's an up-and-coming music producer, Scott.
斯科特 他是一个很有前途的音乐创作人
Not some berk that dropped out of medical school
不是一些从医学院辍学的傻子
And is now doing nothing with his life.
也没有在现在的生活中碌碌无为
I didn't drop out of medical school. I couldn't afford it.
我不是从医学院辍学 我是负担不起学费
And I'm not going to spend the rest of my life
还有我不会花费我的余生
Paying back the government
付钱给政府
For something they should be giving me for free!
为了一些他们本应该免费给予我的东西
Oh, Christ, Scott! This isn't your Occupy London bullshit again, is it?
噢 上帝啊 斯科特！ 这不会又是你的占领伦敦式的牛皮吧 是吗？
Because if it is, you can occupy your arse with it!
因为如果是这样 你又可以坐在那里碌碌无为了！
-Lucie! -Goodbye.
-露西 -再见
I'll try the sauce!
我会试一下调味料的！
Night!
晚上好！
Shit! Have you got a bag of peas?
该死的! 你有冻豌豆吗？
What happened now?
发生了什么事？
I've got two weeks to get £8,000
我要在两个星期内筹到八千英镑
Or they're going to cut my head off.
否则他们就会把我的头砍下来
I can see your pubes.
我看到你的阴毛了
-You're still gambling?-Oh, just a bit.
-你还在赌博吗? -噢 只是偶尔
-You've got a job now.-I make WAY more gambling.
-你现在已经有一份工作了 -赌博有更多的出路
-You never win!-But I keep getting SO close!
-你从来都没有赢过 -但是我就差那么一点点
Lucie left me. Says I wasn't doing anything with my life.
露西离开了我 说我一生都没有什么作为
That's ridiculous! You're a vet.
荒谬！你是一个兽医啊
I'm not a vet. I'm a vet's receptionist.
我不是一个兽医 我只是一个兽医的接待员
-You don't save animals and shit?-No, I answer phones and shit.
-你不是拯救动物和保存狗屎吗？ -噢 不 我是接电话和保存狗屎
Oh. That's a terrible job.
噢 那真是一份糟糕的工作
Did you ever get a good look at her arms?
你有好好看过她的手臂吗？
She's got beautiful arms.
她有一双漂亮的手臂
-Look, Scott. 8K. That's all I need. -Deal with it yourself.
-听着 斯科特 我要八千英镑 -你自己解决啊
I've got my own shit going on.
我也有我自己的麻烦事
-You're my brother! -Half-brother.
-你是我的兄弟啊 -是半个兄弟
-Give me four grand, then. -Dick!
-那给我四千啊 -该死的！
Look, anything! Please, Scott!
拜托了 斯科特 什么都好
I mean, if they kill me, Mum'll have nobody left.
我的意思是 如果他们杀了我 那妈妈就没有儿子了
-There's me!-I mean, nobody left to love.
-还有我! -我的意思是 没人爱她了
Look, I am begging you.
看 我在求你啊
I don't want to die.
我不想死啊
I don't want to die.
我不想死啊
-I can still see your pubes.-Oh, for God's sake!
-我仍然可以看到你的阴毛 -噢 我的天哪
Hey, pal? Could I get a little help here?
嘿 亲？你能过来帮我一下吗？
My cat's just puked.
我的猫在吐
Hello? Hello?
嘿？ 嘿？
Cat sick on the floor!
猫吐在地板上了！
Excuse me?
打扰一下
Puke!
呕吐！
£12,000!
12,000英镑！
Vomity cat. Right here.
呕吐的猫就在这儿
Could I get some help?
你能帮我一下吗？
Welcome to Chicken Bun.
欢迎光临鸡包店
Would you like to try our Sausage and Chicken Breakfast Bun box combo?
要试一下我们的香肠鸡肉包吗？
Actually, I'm looking for Cozzo Costigan.
其实 我要找科佐科·斯蒂根
Great big fella, fixes the machines. For your information, knobhead,
大个子 修机器的 根据你提供的信息 蠢货
I dropped eight pounds last month on a mind-blowing diet.
我上个月通过令人吃惊的节食方法 已经瘦了八磅了
-Debbie said you'd be here.-Well, you only just caught me.
-黛比说你会再这儿 -嗯 你找到我了
I'm heading across town to another job.
我正要去镇上找另一份工作
Shake machine explosion. Complete carnage.
震动机爆炸 真正的大屠杀
Do you want a Chicken Biscuit? They taste like shit.
来一份鸡肉饼干吗？他们尝起来像屎
-No, thanks.-So, um, how's what's-her-name?
-不用了 谢谢 -嗯 那么 她叫？
The one with the arms?
手臂很美的那个？
NLucie? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's good.
露西？ 噢 是的 是的 她很美
Oh, no. You've been dumped.
噢 不 你已经被甩了
She was sleeping around.
她到处跟别人乱搞
Good! Now you can too!
很好！现在你也可以了
Not me. I'm stuck with Debbie.
我就不用了 我离开不了黛比
There's nothing doing, penis-in-vagina wise.
除了想做爱 没有其他事想做了
I've not seen hide nor hair of her growler for months.
我已经几个月没有听到她的叫声了
We're not getting on, you know?
你知道吗 我们相处得并不融洽
She's just cleaning all the time, obsessive.
她总是强迫自己打扫卫生
I think she's got that OCD.
我觉得她有强迫症
It can be a guilt thing, that.
那是一件内疚的事
Like a distraction, from something to hide.
就像是为了隐藏某些事的消遣
-What would she be hiding, anyway?-You never know.
-好吧 那她要隐藏什么些什么啊 -你永远都不会知道的
I didn't have the faintest Lucie was banging someone else.
我都没有做错什么 露西就跟别人走了
Debbie is not banging anyone!
黛比是不会跟别人走的！
Including me.
包括我
I could kill myself.
我可以杀了我自己
Well, that's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about...
嗯 那就我要想要跟你说的...
You want me to build you a suicide machine?!
你想我帮你制造一台自杀机器？！
Shhh, keep it down!
嘘 小声一点！
Look, I'll pay you 4,000 squids, cash.
听着 我会给你4000英镑 现金
Lucie's left, but there's plenty more fish in the sea.
露西是离开了 但是世界上还有很多女人啊
-Some with bigger tits!-It's not for me.
-有一些还有大胸! -那不是我要的
-You want to kill Lucie?-I'm not killing Lucie!
-你想杀了露西 -我不是要杀她
If they find out in jail you killed a woman,
如果你因为杀了一个女人而进监狱
Your bumhole'll end up like that big red dot in the Japanese flag.
你的屁眼就会被人操成泥轰国旗上的大圆点
It's not for Lucie, OK? It's this old bloke.
这不是要给露西的 好吗 是要给一个老人的
He lives next door, he's got ALS,
他就住在我隔壁 他患有肌萎缩性侧索硬化症
And he's offering me all this money...
他把所有的钱都给我了
To murder him? Are you out of your mind? My wife's a copper!
你要去谋杀他？ 你是不是疯了？ 我老婆可是警察！
Well, that's the point of the machine. It's suicide, not murder.
好吧 这就是这部机器的关键所在 这是自杀 而不是谋杀
Look, all you have to do is rig it so it releases six ccs of Pemrutox.
听着 你要做的就是控制它放出6毫升的安乐药
-Pemru-what? -It's the stuff vets use to put dogs to sleep.
-安什么？ -那是兽医让狗安乐死的时候用的药
Oh, right, yeah.
噢 是的 好吧
We had to put Snowball to sleep a few months back.
我们几个月前让斯诺博尔睡过去了
The thing went blind and kept bumping into walls.
它的眼睛瞎了 一直撞墙
It was quite funny at first, actually!
事实上 一开始还挺有趣的
Then... not so much.
但后来就没那么有趣了
-So could you make something like that? -Yeah, 'course I could!
-所以你能制造出类似的东西吗 -当然 我可以
-And you will? -Will I bugger!
-而且你会去制造？ -我是傻子吗！
This is loony tunes! Debbie's in the filth!
疯了吧！ 黛比还在强迫自己做清洁呢
I can't get involved in shit like this.
我不能参与到这种狗屁事情中
Oh, should've been at McDonald's ten minutes ago!
噢 我十分钟前就应该在麦当劳了
Look, nice to see you, Scott.
好吧 很高兴见到你 斯科特
And soz about Luce. Those arms!
对于露西的事我感到很抱歉
All right, who is he?!
好吧 他是谁？
Who's who?
谁啊？
This bloke you're seeing!
你去见的那家伙！
-Is it someone at the station?-What are you talking about?
-是警局里的人吗？ -你在说什么呢？
Oh, come off it, Debbie! I'm not thick!
别扯了 黛比 我不是笨蛋
Is it... is it Frank?
是... 是弗兰克吗？
Johnny? Dave?
约翰尼？戴夫？
Oh, it's Dave, isn't it?
噢 是戴夫 难道不是吗？
The one with the muscles and the... face!
那个有肌肉的和... 很帅的！
Cozzo, there is no bloke!
科佐 我没有其他男人
Oh, my God, it's a lady!
噢 我的天啊 还是个女人！
Urgh, tell me it's not Bonnie!
噢 不会是邦妮吧！
Have you been munching fur-burger?
你有舔过她的奶吗？
Tell me!
告诉我！
I'm pregnant.
我怀孕了
What?
什么？
Almost three months.
差不多三个月了
Why didn't you say something?
为什么你不跟我说呢？
I thought you'd freak.
我以为你会发飙
You know, ever since you lost your job...
你知道的 自从你丢了工作之后
Went freelance!
是成了自由职业者
And with what I make in the Met,
和我一起做的
I don't know, I just...
我也不知道 我只是...
I didn't think that we could afford to...
我觉得我们负担不了...
To keep it? Are you nuts?
怀着他？你疯了？
Look who you're talking to.
看看你在和谁说话
I'll make sure we can afford it.
我肯定我们可以负担得起
That's our baby in there, Debbie.
那是我们的孩子 黛比
That's our frigging baby!
那是我们亲爱的宝贝！
It is OUR baby, right?
是我们的宝贝 对吧？
Oh, stop!
噢 别说了
You two ready for this?
你们准备好了吗？
You've been asking us for the last ten minutes. We're ready!
你在十分钟之前已经开始问我们了 我们已经准备好了！
-What about you, Joe?-Let's just see it! Jesus Christ!
-你呢 乔 -天啊 快让我们看看吧
Dun-du-du-du-du-dun-du-dah!
噔 噔 噔 噔 噔 噔 噔！
Wow! That is beautiful!
哇 好高级啊
-What the hell is that?!-I call it...
-这是什么啊? -我称它为...
The McFlurry of Death.
死亡麦旋风
Oh, for God's sake!
噢 拜托
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Watch and learn.
咳 咳 咳 学着点
Joey, get us a glass of water.
乔伊 拿一杯水给我们
OK, you put the bottle in the top here.
好吧 你把杯子放在这最上面
Attach the IV needle to this end of the tube. Like so.
将静脉针连到这个管子的尾端 就像这样
-And then, see where it says "ice?"-Yeah.
-然后 看到这里写着"结冰"吗？-看到了
Well, that's what the old man pushes down to, you know...
好的 让老人推一下这个 你知道的...
-Ice himself?! -Clever, huh?
-自己结冰？ -很聪明 是吧？
Yes, when people are about to kill themselves,
是的 当人们准备杀死自己的时候
They can't get enough of clever!
他们是不会这么聪明的
Why don't we recite Oscar Wilde, while we're at it?
我们怎么不在这个时候还背诵一下奥斯卡·王尔德呢？
No, that would just be boring.
不 那会很无聊的
OK, I've rigged it so it dispenses
好吧 我来控制它的剂量
Just the right amount of Pump Your Cocks.
安眠药的合适剂量
-Pemrutox. -Exactly.
-安乐药 -好嘞
Watch this.
看着
Oh, wow!
噢 哇！
It's turned the water green.
水变绿了
That is brilliant!
真是棒极了
Oh, no, that's just residue from the shake machine.
噢 不 那只是震动机里的残渣
It was St Patrick's Day last week.
上周是圣帕特里克节
圣帕特里克节: 爱尔兰的国庆日
You didn't clean it out!
你没把它清理干净
OK, so here's how it goes.
好吧 是这个样子的
I, er... I'll let you two use this thing. But on loan.
我 呃 我让你们俩用着 但要付租金
Every time you help someone to top themselves,
每次你帮别人了断
-I get a percentage. -That's fine.
-我要抽成 -可以
What do you mean, "every time?"
你说"每次"是什么意思？
This is just ONE desperate old man.
这有这一个绝望的老头
One old man? Are you having a laugh?
一个老头？你在开玩笑？
You don't build a Snickers machine and only make one Snicker.
你不可能建了个士力架机器却只生产一个士力架
There must be shed loads of people that want out.
一定还有很多人想要
He's right, Scott. We could make a fortune with this thing.
他说的对 斯科特 我们可以用这个东西挣大钱
-I mean, look at Snickers.-This is NOT Snickers!
-我说 看看这些士力架 -这不是士力架！
-All right, Mars bar.-This is not chocolate bars!
-好吧 是巧克力棒 -这不是巧克力棒！
This is people's live we're talking about! Not Mars Bars!
我们正在讨论人们的生命 不是巧克力棒
It doesn't have to be a bar.It could be a packet of something.
不一定非得是巧克力棒 它可能是一包其他的东西
You know, like, Skittles.
你知道 像 彩虹糖
-M&Ms. -Thank you.
-M&M豆 -谢谢
Look, we are helping ONE person
听着 我们正在帮助一个人
Out of a tragic situation,and that is all.
脱离不幸 就这样
Then I'm selling the boots on eBay.
我正在易贝网上拍卖那双鞋
You'll have your money,and you'll have your money.
你会有你的那份钱 你也会有你的那份钱
Then we dispose of this thing so nobody can trace it back to us.
然后我们处理好这件事 所以没有人会追踪到我们
Understand?
明白吗？
Do you understand?!
你们听明白了吗？
Snickers!
士力架你妹！
-What's he got against Snickers? -I don't know.
-他对士力架什么仇什么怨啊 -我也不知道
I'm going out for a smoke.
我出去抽支烟
Do NOT touch the animals.
不要碰那些动物
Hey, Scott.
你好 斯科特
-Bloody hell! Jumpy or what?-It's the middle of the night!
-天呐 该死的！你这么神经质干什么？ -这可是大半夜！
And this is an all-night clinic.
但这里没打烊啊
You should be prepared for people coming in.
你应该准备好随时会有人进来的
I am. People with pets,which you don't have!
我有准备 人家都带着宠物 而你没有！
So until you get a sick, y'know, weasel or something, please leave!
所以除非你生病了 耍小聪明或者其他事 请离开！
You left some clothes at my place. I thought you might want them back.
你留在我那的衣服 拿回去吧
I ain't washed them or nothing.
我一件都没洗
Great. Thank you. That's wonderful.
太棒了 谢谢 真是完美
Thank you very much, Lucie. Goodbye, now.
我谢了您嘞 露西 现在慢走不送
Is something going on?
发生了什么事吗？
Yes, something's going on! It's called work!
是 的确有事！它叫工作！
Just like what your music producer does.
就像你那个音乐制作人做的一样
But instead of going "La la la la,"
不过不是唱"啦啦啦"
I go, "Typety-type-type-type," OK?
我是在"打字打字打字打字" 知道吗？
Now good-the-fuck-bye!
现在 再你他妈的见！
Who was that?
那是谁呀？
My ex.
我前任
Nice arms.
胳膊可真细
Eh, relax, will you?
你放松点 行不？
Nobody's ever going to find out.
没人会发现的
All you've got to do is phone the police after a couple of days,
你要做的就是在几天后打电话给警察
Tell them you haven't seen me for a while,
告诉他们你有段时间没有看到我了
And they'll think I died of the disease.
然后他们会认为我死于某种疾病
-It's easy-peasy! -Right, yeah. Easy-peasy.
-这简直小菜一碟! -对 小菜一碟
D'you want a spliff?
你想来点大麻吗？
What? No, I don't smoke.
什么？ 不 我不抽
Go on. Have a toke. It'll loosen you up.
来吧 吸一点 它能让你放松
No. I'm fine. Thanks.
不用了 我很好 谢谢
Make a fist for me.
握下拳
You know, if yours is the last face I'm ever going to see,
知道吗 你的脸可能是我见过的最后一张面孔了
I'd like to see a smile on it.
我想在上面看到笑容
Oh, God, no! Go back to the other face.
我滴个神啊 还是算了吧
Right, you might feel a little prick.
好 你可能会感到有一些刺痛
You never said we were going to get personal.
你从来没说过还会有人身攻击的啊
It's a joke!
我开玩笑的！
Oh. Ha!
哦 呵呵
OK? Yeah. You're a natural.
好了？ 动作真娴熟
You must have been a smackhead.
你肯定是个瘾君子吧
Two years at medical school.
我在医学院上过两年
Ah, not as much fun, eh?
啊 是不很是没趣？
It was, actually. I wish I could've done more.
其实挺有趣的 真希望能多上几年
OK, so if you just pull this lever,
好了 如果你推这个杆
And the rest should take care of itself.
剩下的就会自动完成
Ice!
结冰！
That's clever!
太有才了！
Thank you.
谢谢
You sure about this?
你确定吗？
Sayonara, Scotty.
再见 斯科特
Goodbye, Mr...
再见 那个啥
Paddy.
帕迪
Paddy?
帕迪？
Am I dead?
我死了吗？
-Oh, God! -I don't think it's working.
-哎呀 吓死我了！ -机器好像坏了
Shit! Oh, I'm not dead.
怪了 哦 老子还没死耶
Nothing's coming out! Is it jammed or something?
什么都没有发生！ 它是坏了还是怎么了？
-I am SO sorry! -Is there anything I can do to help?
-十分抱歉 -我能做点什么吗？
No, no, no, you just sit there.
不不不 你安安静静地做你的美男子就好了
This is your moment of peace.
这是你安详的一刻
Work! Why are you not working?
动啊！为什么不动？
You piece of shit! Work!
你这傻逼玩意！ 给我动啊！
So? How'd it go?
所以？ 怎么样了？
Apart from the fact it didn't work? Smashing!
严重偏离事实 它不起作用 我日的狗玩意！
Impossible! The needle's in his arm, his eyes are shut,
不可能！针管插在他胳膊上 他眼睛也闭上了
And the whole thing jams up.
然后就没有然后了
What? So, you didn't get the boots?
什么？ 那你没拿到那双鞋了吗？
Paddy's not dead, you self-centred twat!
帕迪还没死 你个王八蛋
You forgot to turn off the safety catch, you tit!
你忘记关保险栓了 你这个傻蛋
I didn't know there was a safety catch, you shit!
我根本不知道还有保险栓啊 尼玛
Everybody knows anything that kills people has got a safety catch!
所有人都知道任何能杀死人的东西都会有保险栓的！
-It's just common courtesy. Joey? -Common courtesy.
这是出于礼貌 乔伊？ -出于礼貌
-Thank you. -You didn't tell me!
-谢谢 -你又没告诉我！
Well, now you know. So go back.
好吧 现在你知道了 回去吧
No. It's an omen. A sign. I should NOT be doing this.
不 这是个预兆 一个信号 我不应该做这件事
It's a sign you're chicken shit, that's what it is!
信号个毛线 这是你懦弱的信号
I'm going to go and do it. I don't give a toss about him.
那我去吧 我不会让那老头子翻来覆去不安心的
That's exactly why you won't be going anywhere near him!
那你更不应该去找他了
This is somebody's life we're talking about!
好端端的一条命啊！
Yes! Mine! Isn't that the point?
是！ 我的命！好了吗？
Killing him to prevent people from killing me!
杀了他 以防别人杀了我！
Maybe I'm all right with them getting rid of you!
也许我应该像他们一样把你干掉
It'd be easier than digging you out of the shit all the time!
那总比每次都要把你从坑里挖出来要好得多
Fuck off! You... fucking fucker!
去死吧！你这个大混蛋！
You see, Cozzo? Now that's clever!
看 科佐 看你做的好事
Joseph Robert Copeland! Off your brother's back, right now!
约瑟夫·罗伯特·科普兰！从你兄弟的背上滚下来 马上！
Put me down!
放我下来
Fill it up, Gary.
倒满吧 盖理
I...am going...
我 要去
For a poo-poo.
去便便
Jo-ey?
乔 伊
Good evening, Animal Clinic.
晚上好 兽医诊所
They broke my pointing finger, Scott. I can't point any more.
他们掰断了我的手指 斯科特 我再也不能指任何东西了
Sorry, this is an animal hospital.
抱歉 这是兽医诊所
Even though you'd fit right in, I'm hanging up.
即使你符合条件 我也要挂断电话
No, no, Scott! No, no! Please, please, don't!
不不 斯科特 别挂断！求你了 别挂！
Please! Look, I'll change.
拜托了 听着 我会改的
I swear to God, on Mum's life,
我以我妈的性命向上帝发誓
I will never place another bet.
我再也不赌了
Mum's life? Good luck at the casinos!
咱妈的性命？ 祝赌场好运！
‘I've always been there for you!'
'我一直都在帮你好吗'
Always, OK?
一直 不是吗？
Ever since Mum and your dad split up and you moved down south.
自从妈妈和你爸离婚后 你搬到了南部
I've always been there.
我就一直在你身边
'Do you remember when you nearly cut your thumb off?'
'你还记得那次 你几乎把手指砍掉的时候吗？'
Who stitched it up for you?
谁帮你缝上的？
You did - with fishing wire and a rusty nail.
是你用的鱼线和生锈的钉子
I had to spend Christmas in the hospital!
我不得不在医院过圣诞节
Do you know what Santa brought me that year? A blood transfusion!
你知道圣诞老人那年送给我什么了吗？ 输血！
Look, I try my best, Scott. I really do.
听着 我尽最大努力 斯科特 真的
I just keep screwing up.
我一直把事情弄糟
I can't stop screwing up.
我一直不停地搞砸一切
I'm going to miss you, bruv.
我会想你的 哥们
I love you, man.
我爱你 兄弟
-Can I ask you a question? -Yeah. Go ahead, lad.
-我能问个问题吗？ -可以 你说吧
Oh, this shit's good!
这玩意太他妈棒了！
Yeah. Sticky Icky, it's called.
对 它叫小黏丸
I used to smoke White Rhino,
我之前吸白犀牛
But this stuff's smoother.
但这个抽着劲小一点
What did you do with your life?
你一生中做了什么？
Not, like, the family stuff.
不是那些家庭上的
I mean, all that's brilliant.
我是指那些特别杰出的
But, like, what did you do, do?
但是 你 做 做 了什么？
I said doo-doo!
我说了两个做！
I was in advertising.
我曾经做广告
You're shitting me? For who? Like on TV?
你在逗我吗？给谁做？ 上电视吗？
Well... you've heard of Pepsi?
这个嘛... 你听过百事吗？
Pepsi? I love Pepsi!
百事？ 我超爱百事的！
The taste test campaign? Yeah?
口味测试活动？
Well, I helped them out with that.
我帮他们测试
FUCK OFF! That was you?!
卧槽！是你啊！
Well, I was part of a team, yeah.
对啊 我是团队的一员
-I took that test! -You did NOT!
-我参加了那个测试 -不会吧
I swear down, I did! Look, I was like...
我发誓我做了 就像
"I like that one best!"
"我最喜欢那一个"
Which one did you choose?
你选了哪一个？
Oh, I don't know. The wrong one, I think.
我也不知道 我想可能选错了吧
But, fuck it!
哦 天呐
So that was really you?
所以那真的是你吗？
Yeah. I had a clipboard and everything.
是 我还有个测试记录板这类的各种东西呢
NI mean, you changed the world, man!
我觉得 你改变了整个世界
I mean, you're a hero!
你是个英雄
The world needs heroes.
这个世界需要英雄
You don't want to do this, Paddy.
你真的要这么做吗 帕迪
I do.
是的
But why? Why?
但是为什么？为什么？
Why? Why?
为什么？ 为什么？
Why? Why?
为什么？为什么？
Why? Why? Why, why, why?
为什么？为什么？ 为什么？ 为什么？为什么？
Why?
为什么？
For the same reason that you chose the drink that you chose.
和你选择喝什么的原因一样
It's the right choice for me.
对我来说 我就想这么选择
Why should I let life dictate what happens to me?
为什么我要让命运来主宰我？
This way, I dictate what happens to my life.
现在 应该是由我来主宰命运
Let's do it.
动手吧
-You're ready? -I'm ready. You ready?
-你准备好了吗？ -我准备好了 你好了没有？
-Let's do it. -Let's do it!
-开始吧 -开始吧
So I just stick that in there, and...
所以我就把那个扎在这 然后
-Thank you. -..and then all you have to do is...
-谢谢 -之后你要做的就是
Paddy?
帕迪？
Paddy?
帕迪？
He did it.
他做到了
We did it!
我们做到了！
We did it!
我们做到了！
Oh... we did it.
哦 我们做到了
See that, right there?
看这个 在那
Uh-huh.
嗯
That's the heart beating.
那个是心跳
Oh, my God!
哦 我的天呐！
Cozzo, our baby's heart!
科佐 我们的宝宝的心跳耶！
To think, you were going to have an abortion!
想想 你马上要堕胎了
Cozzo!
科佐！
What do you mean, you've found another?!
你说找到了另一个是什么意思？
No, no, no, no!
不 不 不 不
It's just some guy I was having a pint with.
只是一些有一点点关系的伙计
He's got stomach cancer. How fantastic is that?
他得了胃癌 多美妙
You told some bloke you've never met before
你告诉了某些素未谋面的家伙
what we've done?! Are you mental?
我们做的是什么？你疯了吗？
But it's shit loads of money, bruv. And not in football boots. Cash.
但那是一堆钱啊 兄弟 不是球鞋 是现金
We can't.
我们不能
'This is your ticket to do whatever you want.'
'你有你的选择权 你想干什么就干什么'
There's got to be something you want to do with your life.
那将是你一生中想要做的某件事
Right... Doctor?
对吗 医生？
Joey...
乔伊
'Is that a yes?'
'可以的吗?'
That's a yes, isn't it? I can hear it in your voice.
是可以的 是不是？ 我能从你的声音中听出来
'You're saying yes! Just not actually using the word.'
'你是在说可以 只不过没用那个单词'
Fan-fucking-tastic! We're in business, man!
这太他妈棒了 成交了 伙计
I'll phone you later with the details, yeah?
我一会再和你电话商量具体事宜
Yes!
棒！
Oh, shit!
噢 见鬼
Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit!
噢 糟了 糟了 糟了 糟了
All right, all right! Please don't hurt me!
好吧 好吧 别伤害我
Hurt you?! We need your help!
伤害你？我们需要你的帮助！
Our dog's broke its leg.
我们的狗的腿受伤了
Oh, thank God!
噢 谢天谢地！
I'm sorry!
抱歉
Oh, and that is quite sad, yeah.
噢 真够伤心的